sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Pants 0. Shit 1.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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