Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
