Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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