what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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