does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
