Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
