saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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