she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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