Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My ATM looks so different sober.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
