thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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