its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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