I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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