it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
