Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need a beard to bite.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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