you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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