Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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