South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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