dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is Oprah even human
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
