How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there's paper in my vomit.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
