I wish I could teleport
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
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He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
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You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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