jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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