But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
