i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
