I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Damn victory sex feels great
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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