three words: i give head
three words: not that well
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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