Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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