if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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