So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
