The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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