I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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