thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
