I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
