Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
