Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
