Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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