I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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