i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
