please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize