But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
