It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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