no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
