my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
