at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
God, I missed his penis.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize