TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
