I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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