Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
