she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
