Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
