Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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