she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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