Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
