Christians are straight up FREAKS
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
