I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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