if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
