Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
