Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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