Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
