Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize